Humor, Senior Life, Situational Comedy

Episode 26 – No Cheating

“Have you ever been unfaithful to me?”

I came right out and asked him. I wanted to know. After thirty years.

It happens. A lot of women don’t even know. I needed to know. I just heard of a man who committed suicide when his wife found out he had a pregnant mistress in the Philippines.

“No. You’ve always been my one and only.”

I breathe.

It feels good to have that out of the way.

Even my dad cheated on my mom, so who knows these days?

I smile tugs at the corners of my mouth as I remember a story my mom told me.

My mom’s side of the family has a sense of humor, something my dad’s family can’t relate to so well. We used to come home and find a mop propped in front of the door or an empty garbage can tipped over and we’d know one of our uncles had been over.

My uncles enjoy an occasional prank. One day my mom was in a grocery line when she felt someone tug on her ear. She turned around to glare at the strange man behind her. She refocused on her groceries and it wasn’t long before she felt another tug. She turned and faced the man again. Just then she saw her brother’s head pop up from behind him.

“You should have seen the look on the face of that guy,” my uncle is grinning from ear to ear as he tells the story. “And Lena, my goodness, the look she gave him, could have withered a tree.” His shoulders shook with laughter.

My mom told me the story of one time when my dad asked her to pack his suitcase for him. He was leaving on one of his trips.

“I put one high heel and a wine glass and my nightgown in the suitcase. That’s all.”

I felt laughter bubbling up inside me.

My girlfriend related opening her suitcase and finding condoms sitting on top of her clothes. “He wants me to think of him,” she said, speaking of her husband.

I’m sure my dad was thinking of my mom in that instant.

My mom said my dad told the story to his friend. Her eyes twinkled as she continued, “I think he thought he would feel sorry for him. We were at their house, and Dad’s friend came and sat a little bit close to me, after, and gave me a nudge with his elbow. I’m sure he thought it was funny, but not Dad.”

No, I haven’t had to worry about Denny. But this particular day I wondered if I might have been too sure of myself. Or of him. Love is blind, you know.

I love Denny because of the way he loves me. I am his “one and only.”

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