Everyday Life, Family Life, Humor

Episode 31 – Google Docs

“OK, I figured something out,” I’ve been working on a spreadsheet in Google Docs, something Denny introduced to me this week. I knew about Google Drive, but I didn’t know about Google Docs and Sheets. So, there are a few gaps in my computer knowledge.

“What’s that?”

“I now know what it means to ‘wrap text.’”

Denny starts to laugh. He is behind the kitchen counter and he pretends to hide it but he starts to jiggle as he continues to laugh. He peers, like Santa, over his glasses at me, “That’s good to know.”

“Yes it is.”

“I’m laughing at you.”

“I know you are.” He can’t seem to stop. I know he is envisioning the frustration I must have felt when all the time the solution was at my fingertips.

“Does it mean you’re wrapping Christmas presents?”

“OK, I know exactly what you’re thinking.”

“What exactly am I thinking?”

“That you can’t believe how ignorant I am.”

“The  thing about spreadsheets is, where did it go? Crazy stupid computer.”

“I know.” Denny is getting too much pleasure out of this.

“It’s a recent feature that was just added.”

Of course it’s not, and I know that.

“Wrap,” Denny, finger poised in the air.

“Well, I didn’t know what it would do. I figured out the part about wrapping around a photo, but what if there is no image?”

“Do you know where the term wrapping came from? Remember when computers first came out and the lines on a document would go on and on? Well wrapping made it fit the page.”

Now it all makes sense.

I’m receiving a text as Denny gathers his stuff in his duffle bag and heads out the door to go swimming at the community centre. He asked me to go, but I’m too absorbed with my work.

The text is my brother-in-law writing to tell me that he thought my mom called smoked ham, turkey at Christmas. It really was turkey, he tells me, because his friend confirmed that smoked turkey tastes just like smoked ham. So, I’m realizing that all along he thought my mom was confused and was calling a ham a turkey.

It’s good to know my mom’s mental faculties are no longer in question. And I remind myself that it wasn’t really a matter of mental fitness, not knowing about a simple thing like wrap text.

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